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ColdThis seems cruel and selfish.. And from the outside, it is. But I'm unhappy. I don't get what I need. I can't find anyone who is reliable and selfless, humans like that just don't exist. I want someone with no material drive. Someone who can sit with me and watch the clouds roll by. Someone who is content and easy going. Someone who I would walk half way around the world just to see. I want someone whose mind is clear. I want someone who only has eyes for me. I want someone who sees the world like I do. Someone who can relate. Someone who will finally make me feel like I'm no longer a stranger to this planet. Someone who only wants me. I don't know why I settle. Maybe it makes me a bad person. Maybe it's because I don't want to force my expectations on another being. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe I deserve to be alone forever. I want to do more things for myself. I want to run away again. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I need to find my match who doesn't exist. And I need to sleep in t
Horses Everywhere!Mat: Can we go to the rodeo?
Me: No, there's horses, you're allergic.
Mat: Can we go to the parade?
Mat: The fair?
Mat: Junior hockey sign up?
Finding Me"I'm having a hard time again. I keep feeling like I'm a ton of different people one moment, and then like I'm no one. I constantly lose myself and walk away not really knowing what kind of a person I want to be. Everyone keeps pressuring me to be someone else, but I haven't even had enough time to figure out who- I am."
Life AgainLife is hard.
We lose the people we love.
Yet we love because it makes us feel complete.
We get hurt and betrayed in ways we never could imagine.
Yet we trust because we need to put faith in someone.
We mess up and make mistakes.
Yet we need to take chances in order to learn.
We never have enough time.
Yet we fight for it and make memories.
We have to accept some of the most difficult things.
Yet without it, we'd suffer denial.
We have to make hard choices.
Yet we know that a choice itself is a blessing.
Another Reality CheckGay marriage is legal in my country. Here's a list of all the problems it has caused me:
My thoughts on Human LifeEveryone has their own battles, that's personal to them. From my parents perspective, I was a "mistake"; sticky notes, chocolate-chip cookies, beer and popcorn were also mistakes. I didn't have the greatest life growing up. My parents split up and I wasn't always in the best home, my mom kicked me out at 16 and I had to stay with different people for a while. So fucking what? I still value MY life even if some people don't like me. I'm not going to base my experience in this world off someone elses opinion of me (including my parents). That's stupid. Why should anyone else choose that for me? I choose to enjoy life and I'm happy to be alive. My situation only affected me positively, it made me the strong woman I am today, I am a mother. My child was also unplanned, but some of the best things in life are unplanned. I don't think anyone deserves the right to decide if someone should be dead or alive. I don't support the death penalty either, but I do agree with life imprisonment for peo
Inspired ProseWe all have things to say, most of us have something we really believe, or multiple things we could talk about for hours at a time; things that manifest themselves when you’re in the moment, when you’re not distracted with redundant information masquerading as truth and news. When you have a moment with yourself, and your life, and life as we know it is shifted into focus, put into perspective, you must realise how transient it all is. This increasingly dominant westernised way of thinking, and acting is not only promoting ignorance, and stupidity, but solidifying our stunted growth as humans and as our true selves –– whether that be a soul, a spirit or an energy.
To some this may be exhausting to think about, and to read about –– to me it’s exhausting to be surrounded by those that don’t think this on a regular basis, as they’ve already been poisoned by something; by the media, by experience, by the government, by societ
Lost in the Spiritual WorldMy Darkness:
I have been meditating since I was 12 years of age. It was not only to escape the world around me but it helped me a lot in doing so. A world full of bullying beings addicted to matter of all kind. At that time I lost sense nearly completely. I really was cut up from the world at my young age, seeking shelter in astral travel. Just to differentiate from them, not to put myself with them on one level, to detach myself from material the best I could. And I felt that I did not need it. There was no contact to other people and I neglected my body completely.
I came to know that it was a wrong way and I changed to another extreme that looked like helping others at any risk, running against walls, bashing my head, giving all but receiving mostly nothing, self-sacrifice as I was not able to help myself.
The last change took place in 1995 and I feel that this is now the right way for me.
During my astral experiences over three decades I have met a lot of entities out there, on the
Redemptive SufferingThe fear of suffering, pain, and death seem like unconquerable mysteries. My time here at CPE [clinical pastoral education] has helped me to understand, via experience, that they are not necessarily things that need to be conquered. No amount of faith excludes us from experience pain, loneliness, and death. Money, power, and other earthly things makes these three experiences even worse. With this in mind, I began to wonder if the words of Qoheleth were not as negative as they appear: “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity” (Ecc 1:2). Earthly things will pass which also means these things, both good and bad, will pass. Yet this does not ease the blow of the mystery of suffering and death. Even if they pass away they still remain with us our whole lives.
For me, this mystery is one that is only solved by the Cross. The cross is, for me, the foundation of my theology the ministry I do. The cross is the Incarnational moment where love and suffering meet. Love because
Infinity Complex.Infinity Complex.
This is something that has been on my mind for a little bit. I would like to share this complex with everyone, and find out if anyone else has thought of this.
The infinity complex is just that. A complex cycle of infinity.
Let's say I am traveling space, and 'ascending'. I reach far into space and reach a sign. (Theoretically) The sign says "YOU SHALL NOT PASS". The complex begins.
Why is the sign there? Who made the sign? If not whom, what made the sign? What made what made the sign? Why can I not pass the sign? Is there something stopping me from passing the sign? If so, is this the end of the universe? Is this something beyond the sign? Why would it be there in the first place? Is there something it doesn't wish me or anything to see? What created what that made this barrier? Is there something beyond what created what? Why can I read the sign? Why is it in my language? Is it in different languages depending on the thing that perceives it? If so, why? If
Deep downDeep down inside ourselves
we can find the infinities
of the universe revealing themselves
in the light of darkness.
in the ocean of the dark unknown
we can find the high sky of enlightenment...
28/07/2014 Dywiann Xyara
Deep down we can find the high skyPoetry can be such a powerful expression
that it is capable to give extreme deep impressions
which can lead to the infinities of the sky
or deep down to the abyss' of the unknown oceans.
Is the deep down
actually the sky high above us?
And is the sky high above us
actually the ocean deep down?
What is, if I told you
that contraries become the same
the closer you reach their extremes?
What's hidden in all the deep seas?
What's far beyond our Solar System?
They all share one thing:
...the darkness of the unknown...
Why are we afraid of such infinities?
Why can't we grasp such dimensions?
Why are we even afraid of the unknown?
if our reality is only bound by our own imagination
and the fear of the holy unknown.
Yet the dark is so inspiring and touching.
Deep down inside ourselves
we can find the infinities of the universe
and experience it in all it's power and majesty.
Deep down we can find the high sky
27/07/2014 Dywiann Xyara
WorldablazeJust one spark could set the world ablaze;
A century ago the world shook;
A boiling ocean charged with chaos.
Darkness shrouding is also motivation for light shining.
Voyagers into the void;
Delvers in the darkness.
We're still alive, so that's something.
Rules of the Bronydom1. Do not talk about EG.
2. Do NOT talk about EG.
3. We are Bronies
4. Bronies are fandom
5. Bronies love and tolerate
6. Fandom can be a stupid, childish, whining monster
7. Fandom is still able to stick together
8. There are no real rules about censoring
9. There are no real rules about copyright infringement either – enjoy your C&D
10. If you enjoy any other TV show – DON'T
11. All your arguments about the show not being 'just for little girls' can easily be ignored
12. Any original work you produce can and will be stolen from you
13. Any original work you produce can be turned into something else – clop
14. Do not argue with haters – love and tolerate
15. The more you try to be show-accurate the more you'll be blamed for OOC
16. If you get OOC in epic proportions, you may just create a subfandom
17. Every fanon gets canon eventually
18. Everything that can be shipped can be hated
19. The more you hate, the more shipped it gets
20. No storywriter's tweet is t
In another UniverseIn an alternate universe I choked on a Burger King chicken tender when I was four year old and died in my mom's arms before paramedics arrived on the scene.
In an alternate universe I was born with a third arm and I became nothing but a lab rat. I run around to this very day not knowing what real sunlight feels against my skin. I beg and plead while I curl in a ball in the corner tears against the acts of science.
In another universe on my 20th birthday a stranger bought me a winning lottery ticket. I hit the Jackpot of 280 million. I bought a mansion a Camaro. Repaid my debts and lived a life of wealth and lavished in high life until the end of my days.
I another universe I grow old and alone in a home without family or friends. Nobody to leave my stories or experiences to.
In another universe I was attacked by a Tiger Shark while surfing. Spending my life disabled I fell into depression and became a raging alcoholic.
...But in this universe I had you, the greatest girl to ever grace
15 Interesting Things to do15 Interesting things to do:
1. Go for a long drive and play some good music.
2. Take pictures in nature.
3. Have sex against/on a freezer. XD
4. Write a letter to someone you know (Get a friend's address if you don't have it)
5. Fly a kite.
6. Go for a hike in a place you've never been.
7. Make yourself a smoothie.
8. Toss a football or frisbee.
9. Have sex in a vehicle (Don't get caught!). (;
10. Give a respectful compliment to a stranger.
11. Climb a tree.
12. Skip a day of work or schooling to make "you time".
13. Go fishing.
14. Draw or paint something. (Even if you're not an artist)
15. Learn some origami. (Even something basic)
ViolinI remember the day
you told me violins
were strung with cat gut
and that is why
you hated music
(who says that to a child?)
I followed you
all that summer.
I watched you
grow away from mother -
your whiskey held better conversations
and all she did was cry.
We'd sit cross-legged on the porch
and count the horseflies
settling on our lunch.
You would drown tadpoles
in a bucket
surprised they could not swim
and I would dream
of cherry popsicles.
And when night would gather
on the sidewalk
I'd hold my breath
until a star appeared.
Don't bother making wishes
you'd tell me -
stars are dead weight in heaven
and God has cloth ears.
Keep in Touch!